Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Clerical Conundrums - a FLAILSNAILS alternative for Clerics to the Carousing Table

Clerical Conundrums:
1. Called upon to preside over a funeral, you trip and knock over the casket, dumping the body in front of a horrified congregation. (1 or 2) Fall in the open grave during a funeral service. (3-6)
2. Recruited into a cell of heretics corrupting the church from within. You are clueless as to their real intentions.
3. Unintentional political allegory in sermon angers local law enforcement. 1-2 You are banished from town. 3-6 Fined 200GP for the crime of Subversion. Failure or (inability to pay fine) indicates d6 days in the pokey.
4. Bungle conversion mission, natives begin worshiping your version of Satan.
5. Drop lit ceremonial candles, torch church.
6. Inconvenient miracles, i.e. weeping blood (pick something campaign appropriate). People outside the faith are freaked out, but members may begin following you around as a messiah figure.
7. Tasked by your church to perform exorcism. 1-4 successful 5-6 unsuccessful, lose 2 points of Wisdom temporarily for d6 weeks and watch over your shoulder for that time!
8. Accidentally insult bride at a wedding ceremony you officiate at. Offerings drop at the church for a time because of the incident. You must tithe d6x100 GP to make up for it.
9. Donate a cursed coin to the church.
10. The spirit of doing good works and giving runs away with you. Lose 50% of all possessions and money you have.
11. You drink too deeply in the ceremonial wine and become drunk during service. Your superiors are not impressed. Lose all XP from the previous adventure.
12. In an effort to help the poor, you were mugged. Start the next adventure minus d3 HP.
13. You unintentionally anger your deity – wear sackcloth and ashes for d6 days to atone.
14. Townsfolk are enamored by a younger, populist clerics message – make a successful Charisma check or lose any popularity you have with the people of this town.
15. You accidentally lose a sacred relic – you superiors are very distraught. You are sent on a pilgrimage for d4 weeks as penance.
16. Talked out of any spare cash you have on you by a sob-story-telling swindler. You have a big heart, but need to work on that Wisdom a bit more ;)
17. Accused of heresy. Make a Wisdom check to avoid the sanction of your Church against you.
18. Rival religion is jealous of your good works. You gain an enemy.
19. Accused of embezzlement of Church funds. Roll a Charisma check to clear your name.
20. You wore yourself out doing good deeds for the less fortunate. -2 to all To Hit Rolls and Saving Throws for the first day of your next adventure.

(This table was inspired by Jeff Rients' Carousing Table and input by: Jeremy Deram, John Johnson, Tim Knight, Michael Moscrip, Jeffrey Osthoff and Robert Parker)

A free PDF of this table can be downloaded here:

For the original Carousing in Wessex Table please go here:

For Evan Elkins Magical Mishaps Table for Magic Users please see:


  1. It sounds like my gullible, misguided, enabling Cleric of Jupiter the Mighty in Hackmaster!

  2. Jeffrey - Go ahead and make your official roll here for Brother Damien's faux pas :)

  3. eeps!
    #6... I would call it Stigmata. I've read enough on stigmatics to know that it was purportedly very inconvenient (have to have hands covered in gloves or wraps in public) and that often other "godly fool" behavior from the afflicted followed @_@

  4. Ooh.. having seen the film Stigmata, this brings out lots of neato bandito ideas. Anyway, congratulations on your divine basically-an-affliction! By the time the caravan reaches Brussels, you have acquired 1d3 religio-groupies. They are 'normal humans' and behave toward you as if affected by Charm Person. (the Charm Person can be interpreted to-taste by Flailsnails GMs)

    1. Holy synchronicity Batman, the validation was "signia"

  5. LOL! I am sure my companion acolyte Nodger will be be shocked about all of this!

  6. Really cool. I love this table. Love #4!

  7. Glad to see you're still around, Jeff! You left Facebook so abruptly- I was starting to get worried! Others have left messages of concern as well.